Unbearably happy

The doors to the church opened all at once, and I was walking. Not one person, not one pew, not one flower arrangement caught my eye. The music I had belabored choosing, I didn’t hear. I just saw him. He was smiling at me, and I was going to be his. The only thing I remember is I was shaking, and he was crying. It will always be the best moment of my life.

Some people hate the ground another walks on, and through some tumultuous happenstance, find out the person they hate is the one person that ruffles them out of themselves: they fall in love.  Some people are friends and feel awkward about falling in love, but do, and it is wonderful. Some people yearn from a distance, and finally the other notices; it is a relief.

From our first conversation, Walker and I have been peas in a pod, and every step of our relationship felt so normal, that we never noticed the incline. Our story is simply that we were meant to be, and just had to meet. We met, and that was it.


Lately, life has been unbearable for me, in a good way. There has been so much goodness dumped on me I can’t absorb it, or even diffuse it out through writing. There is too much. I want to hold every moment we have together up to the light, but I don’t have time, because another wonderful moment bumps it out of the way and dazzles me again.

One month ago, a man I will never deserve promised to love and cherish me for the rest of our lives. That fact is unbelievable, and I cannot, no matter how hard I try, figure out how he loves me. Even more beautiful than that moment, though, is the truth that he loves and cherishes me every day. I love talking about our wedding and what it symbolized and was. But, today, when he comes home, and I am in his arms, I will love that it is not our first married hug, but our thousandth.